Valentine's Day

These are beautiful dozen of roses Armando got for me for Valentine's Day. I am so lucky to be married to such sweet and caring man. We celebrated by going out to Thai Coconut for a meal. It was yummy like always. I had the papaya salad and soup and ginger tea. Armando loved the restaurant, the food and the service as it was his first time going there. Thai Coconut is one of these hidden gems with great food, lovely ambiance and super nice service. It is definitely the best Thai restaurant I have been to. Sharing a meal with someone who is not only my husband but also best friend is always heaven. I fell in love with Armando from the first sight and I continue to fall in love with him every day. He has all these qualities that I need, he is patient,always cool and collected, grounded, and analytical. Most of all he holds loving space for me whenever I am going through something. He doesn't try to help out too soon but gives me time to process and figure it out and then I feel this incredible sense of accomplishment. I am always thankful for his loving and supportive energy.

So I have been overly emotional since week 9. I just felt snappy and short tempered. Week 10 was worse and week 11 better. I am at the beginning of week 12 now. I began to understand today that I have not given myself time to enjoy being and feeling pregnant. I was super busy with subbing this month and having no day off. It got to me so much and my entire being and body just protested. Enough! Enough! It seemed to scream. I felt like I was beating myself up, pushing myself hard.I normally can push myself pretty far but this time around not an inch of me liked it. I only did it because it was too late to change anything, cancel classes or get subs. So I worked so hard. I just went 20 days without a day off. Yes insane I know. I used to do this all the time just out of excitement for the adventure. But when you are pregnant its really different. You feel everything so much more and if you don't rest enough your body will tell you.

On day 12 I got an anxiety attack. I just felt overwhelmed. I am not used to feeling this way. I normally love to be busy and not doing anything or sitting around drives me crazy. I always think that I could be working rather than sitting. I told Shanine over lunch about this. Its hard to admit that you are doing something to cause yourself to react this way. She is non judgmental like Jason my homeopath so I feel safe in opening up and sharing. I felt so terrible and guilty but Shanine was so loving and supportive that I worked through these emotions and came to some great conclusions.

I felt all the pressure leave today, mentally I just relaxed and started to breathe. So the lesson is that being pregnant is no time to be crazy, pushing yourself, focusing on everything else but relaxation. The lesson is that this is a very precious time between me and my baby. Time to go within, feel, dream and think about the future. Definitely slow down.

I am excited for March. In March I will let go of two classes and instead I will teach prenatal. I will have two hot classes a week. I will see how I can handle those. So far the heat has been getting to me. I mean I never felt bothered by teaching in the heat but now its like I get tired half way through and I feel anxious. Maybe because I am working 20 days straight...I don't know but heat is something I am going to keep my eye on. Also, for the entire month of March I will be going to Maureen's prenatal at YCOB. Its definitely time to start enjoying my pregnancy!!!!!I really had no time until now!!Crazy. I am 3 months and its time. At the moment I am barley taking any of my own classes...and I feel I really need it. I need a good and supportive yoga teacher to guide me on my path right now.

I am so much more sensitive to other's emotions. Its crazy. I had never had any problems with manual adjustments . Now, if I feel negative or "unclean" energy from others I will not want to touch them. Its so weird. I would approach them or walk by them and then I back off instead of I choose to verbally adjust. It is really surprising me. Same with people who just emanate negative energy in class, even if they look good, their alignment is fine, they smile, etc. I can still tell and feel if they are sending negative energy out. Its bizarre. At the other hand I love being around good energy people especially Shanine. I go religiously to her Restorative classes on Sundays. She is not only my best friend but my soul sister. She knows how I feel just by looking at me and she knows what to say or do to make me feel better.

The other day I finished teaching my hot class and as always I planned on staying for Shanine's class. This time though the heat was making me feel anxious so I decided to go home and rest. It turned out that Maureen put together a Partner Yoga class instead of Shanine's hot class. Shanine was happy she didn't have to teach and could just enjoy a class and asked me to stay. I contemplated and decided to stay since the class would be at the reg. temp studio. I never done partner yoga so I was happy to do it with my best friend. It ended up being super fun. There were many couples there, some married, some dating, some friends and two strangers paired up together. Working with Shanine and supporting each other in poses was so amazing. I kept feeling love from Shanine and also kept laughing from joy and amusement. We did sun salutations facing each other and looking into each other's eyes and that connection with someone who is your best friend is delightful. All of my anxiety left and I left the class feeling recharged like I usually do when I share my practice with Shanine.